How to survive (and even enjoy) family get-togethers
“You can tell this is a special occasion because Aunt Mary is wearing a corsage.” —Julie T.
B I N G O !
This is not your grandma’s BINGO night at the fire hall —
THIS BINGO GAME WILL SAVE YOUR LIFE, OR AT THE VERY LEAST, YOUR SANITY!
I first heard about this in a magazine piece written by the lovely and wise Martha Beck — she called it “Dysfunctional Family Bingo”— and I have now been doing this for several years.
HERE’S HOW IT WORKS:
Find a friend who also has “a challenging time” getting through the holiday family visit.
Agree to play.
Then, make a wager as to who will get their family BINGO squares filled up first.
THEN:
Make a traditional 25-square BINGO grid.
Fill it with ALL THE THINGS that are SURE to happen at your family gathering — things that usually drive you crazy.
As the things happen, mark the squares
(in secret, of course!).Then... when you get a straight line across, down, or diagonally—
YOU WIN!
That’s when you sneak off to the bathroom with your cell phone to call your friend and brag!
WINNER!
Here are some examples of things that might make it onto your BINGO card:
Your mom will comment on how “confident” you must be to let your gray hair grow in.
Grandpa will rave about how much he loves the scalloped potatoes and how he can tell they’re not from a box. (note: They are totally from a box!)
A puff of smoke will randomly come out of Uncle Herb’s mouth even though he hasn’t been outside for a cigarette in the last hour.
Grandma will re-gift something to you that you gave to her the previous year.
Your dad will stick his tongue out while posing for a photo. (“Very original, Dad!”)
Your older sister will inquire about your love life.
Your brother-in-law will get mad that someone opened his good whiskey.
Your brother will be drunk by noon.
Grandma falls asleep at the dinner table. (OK, that one’s kinda cute!)
Example card I made for me (I mean, umm… for a client):
The beauty of this game is that now when these things happen, it will get you closer to winning your wager.
THESE THINGS BECOME FUNNY RATHER THAN THE USUAL “PLEASE, JUST TAKE-THIS-FORK-AND-STAB-ME-IN-THE-EYE!”
So, what are the first 3 things you’ll be putting on your family BINGO card this year?
Now, forward this to a friend and make that wager.
* * *
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