Forget what I said last week

I love a clean bathroom floor!

Last week, I shared an interview I did for The Nest.

It was all about how important it is to communicate and work together with your partner when you’re doing chores around the house.

Now, forget all that.

It was all great advice that really works, but some people feel their partners are “too far gone” or “impossible!”

So, here’s the truth.

You ready?

It’s up to you.

You need to do [that thing that is so important to you].

What? But... but...!

I know you don’t want to hear this, but this is me throwing water in your face.

If something is truly important to you...

it’s up to you to take care of it.

Don’t ask permission.

Don’t wait for help.

Just do it.

Without the drama.

Without the blame.

And without the “Do I have to do everything around here?!” attitude.

What would change for you if you dropped all that?

For instance, I hate hair on the bathroom floor.

So you know what I do?

Every night, I give the bathroom floor a quick wipe.

Done.

I don’t get mad at my husband for not making it a priority.

It’s MY priority, so I do it.

Full disclosure: They’re mostly MY head hairs after using the straightening iron, so there’s that.

And then, to give equal air-time...

I just “polled” my husband for what chores he feels he does without me — he says he cleans the stovetop more often.

Ooo, yes. That’s true.

And he doesn’t seem upset with me.

Phew.

He does more of the cooking, so that does make sense.

I still believe that cooperation and agreements with your partner are ESSENTIAL

For instance, the rule in our house is:

• I’m in charge of breakfast dishes

• He’s in charge of dinner dishes.

No discussion necessary.

It was discussed once (see last week’s article on making agreements).

We know when it’s our thing and we do it. No drama. No negotiating. Done.

The big trick...

You can just decide how to think about it

You can just decide to stop resenting your wife for leaving her shoes everywhere. Or your husband for leaving his dirty socks behind the bathroom door.

If it bothers you to see them there — why not just put his socks in the hamper? Or move her shoes out of the way so they’re less of a trip hazard?

But, Christine, it’s not my job! It’s their stuff! I don’t want to do that for them!

Spending 2-3 minutes doing these things isn’t for them —

it’s for YOU.

If it bothers you that much, decide to take care of it yourself.

Take care of it for YOU.

It doesn’t make you a doormat or a “maid” — it actually empowers you to CHOOSE how you want to think about it.

Do you WANT to keep fighting and feeling resentful?

Or do you want to do an easy 2-minute thing that will make YOU feel better?

* * *

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