How to have better relationships

One of my clients was recently telling me how she was sad that she and her sister aren’t close anymore.

Her sister lives out-of-state and never calls or keeps in touch. She said that because of this, they’re just not close anymore.

She stated it all like it was a fact.

A quick note on relationships

I have 3 older brothers and today is my middle brother’s birthday!

Happy Birthday, David Kell!

I love you, big brother!

• He lives 2.944 miles away.

• We haven’t seen each other in-person in over 10 years.

• We only talk on the phone maybe twice-a-year.

And yet, I feel super-close to him.

The same is true for all my brothers — they all live far away, we haven’t seen each other in years, we don’t speak much, and still... I don’t wish for more or for things to be different, because I love them all so much!

How can that be?

The reason:

Any relationships we have, we never actually have with the other person.

What?

Any relationship is just the thoughts you have about the other person.

Nothing else matters:

• Whether they call (or don’t call).

• Whether you see them in-person (or don’t).

• Whether they babysit for your kids (or they don’t).

• Or whether they invite you to all their parties (or they don'’t).

You can be close to someone simply by deciding that you are close to someone.

You can think thoughts about them that create a feeling of closeness for you.

Or you can decide to think thoughts that make you feel NOT close to them.

We never actually FEEL another person’s love.

It’s the thoughts we think about them (and sometimes it’s the thoughts we think they think about us) that create our feelings for others.

Have a “challenging” relationship in your life?

Decide today how you want to feel about that relationship.

Then, find the thoughts that will create that for you.

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