transcript:

People have A LOT of opinions about how to celebrate the holidays.

From a friendly comment about the way you cook your sweet potatoes to how and who you spend your day with.

People will always have judgments about you and your actions.

And you are likely to have judgments about others.

I’m dealing with this right now.

With the pandemic numbers rising across the U.S. again, the CDC, my good buddy, Anthony Fauci, as well as governors and mayors everywhere, are advising we don't go anywhere for Thanksgiving this year. Stay home.

And I agree.

See! There’s another opinion… another judgment!

I can get so META on here sometimes, can’t it? ;)

A lot of us are experiencing “pandemic fatigue” and I think we all have a desire to gather and be together at this time of year, but again…

What is so important about gathering in-person?

Please, seriously consider that question.

What will it mean to you if you can’t spend one holiday season in-person with your loved ones?

Ask yourself why it is so important to you to spend the holidays in-person with certain people?

Your answer to that… no matter how true it feels, is just a thought.

Someone else could have an opposite thought.

For instance,

I think that we should be cautious and not risk spreading COVID to our loved ones, so that we have an opportunity to spend more holidays with them in the future.

This issue is coming up on both sides of my family right now—

and the opinions couldn’t be more diverse.

First, there is my husband’s side of the family—

My husband and I usually spend Thanksgiving with my mother-in-law.

This year, my mother-in-law sent us the most wise and grounded email:

“Everyone from the CDC down is saying don't go anywhere for Thanksgiving. Stay home. So, I'm thinking we should follow suit and be safe….

“I'm so grateful that you exist and are as wonderful and loving as you are. And I can feel thankful all by myself.”

Thoughtful. Grounded. Wise. Well-informed.

(That’s a judgment… even if it’s a positive judgment.)

Then, I got thinking about how I have so many family members on MY side (yeah, I’m calling you out sisters!) 😄 who are getting together. Last I heard, there was a big camping trip planned.

I’m thankful none of them have gotten sick (with how in-the-world they seem to be).

But I just want to yell,

“Stop it! Be responsible—and stay the hell away from our parents!”

But I can’t control other people.

And neither can you.

They can’t control me telling them I think they should be more careful.

And I can’t control them and make them wear masks around each other.

They’re adults and they get to do whatever the heck they want. Even if I don’t agree with them.

Maybe they have the thought that the pandemic is no big deal and it’s not a holiday unless you spend it with family.

While I have the thought that it’s more important to socially distance and keep my loved ones safe this year.

What is ONE year of being apart to the possibility of having ALL years apart (because one of your more elderly, immune-compromised family members got sick because you insisted on getting together)!

So dramatic, I know!

My husband and I are not willing to risk that.

No matter how bad we’d love to see our families.

(Have you seen the price of airfare these days — I could get from NY to CA for $94!)

But this is our choice.

And you have a choice too.

People will try to control you, to bully you into getting together (or NOT getting together).

You do what you think is right.

Don’t worry how other people will see you.

Control what you can control — yourself and your own behaviors.

And respect other people’s requests of you.

Don’t show up at your mother-in-laws house when she has requested you stay away.

Ha, can you imagine if we did that to my mother-in-law?! Surprise! Ha, no!

But so many people don’t respect the requests of others.

And that’s a whole other discussion for another time on boundaries.

But today, we’re talking about other people’s opinions and trying to control others.

Stop trying to control others

When we have a thought (like I often do) about how other people should behave and they don’t behave that way… it makes us crazy!

When we feel like we know what’s best for people (again, I totally do this, especially around the COVID issue), we become righteous, indignant and disconnected.

Again, adults get to choose THEIR own life and their own actions.

And that’s great, because that means that WE get to choose OUR own life and our own actions.

Remember, you can’t control other people. You can only control your own mind and how you feel.

So…

Forget other people’s opinions on how you CHOOSE to spend your holidays.

Don’t let anyone bully you into getting together or even NOT getting together (even me).

Although, I know I’m right on this. haha

Wishing you a happy and healthy Thanksgiving… no matter what you do or who you do it with! 😀❤️🦃

* * *

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